Pretty strange to publish blog posts on two consecutive days…huh? Well, I figured this was too long a post for social media and I wanted to share as soon as I could. My energy tonight has been at crazy extremes and my spirit is just too excited for the new beginnings rising out of this year.

So yesterday (1/8/2017) the Holy Spirit tagged at my heart to take a walk back to town from Upper Hill, just a silent walk, no earphones blazing cool tunes which I rarely move without. Well, I thought the walk was just because it did not make a big difference between walking and hitching a bus ride since there was so much traffic at that late evening hour and I would literally get to town at the same time while walking as those KBS buses. However, by the time I got to the streets of Nairobi,, the reason was quite clear and I could focus on the seed that He planted in me. Sometimes the Holy Spirit just longs for time alone with you, avail yourself to Him.

With every new year, we tend to go with the flow of the new year’s excitement, then just hold onto hope that the year will be better than the last one. You gotta change how you do things to see a different result. Get in line and make 2018 instead of waiting for the year to be favourable to you; gaining new knowledge with every beginning, with every new dawn. Then with the knowledge gained, create; bring to reality what others cannot grasp with their mere thoughts.

Photo credits: Grey 116

I am a silent person by nature. That is just part of my character built over many years. I listen for long periods of time before I give my say and most times if the conversation is not directed at me I might not utter a word. Silence keeps one from trouble is a good proverb ? Am not really an introvert but an ambivert. I tend to talk more when the conversation is natural and I love extroverts who complement my character though if you keep talking too much and repeating the same point over and over yet I understood it two minutes ago, I will get bored and run away from you ??? I am sorry if I you are on my unconscious list of MARK AND AVOID but that is just me, you have somebody else out there for you ?. and I do enjoy events where I can socialize and have fun with friends.

So all that explanation on silence was just to bring you to the reason for the behind this post. Someone one year back, while in a group setting mentioned that I possess a lot of lessons to share with people but I do not. It got me thinking I should share more…and now ta..da the season is here. It is amazing how God can work on you consistently until you grow to where He desires you to be. This was just a reminder of what had began one year ago.

So, this year I plan to learn something new everyday to empower my creative being. Some lessons will definitely be flashbacks to secrets and principles I previously overlooked. I will be sharing across social media (Follow me on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram @phoenixthadj) some of the lessons that I have learnt in the past as well as those that I will learn over 2018 using the hashtag #KnowledgeForCreation. I do not promise to share daily, some lessons may just be for my own personal growth.

Am grateful for my spiritual father Prophete Joel Lutuka. He has worked to achieve such great spiritual levels and has become an amazing example of how much one can enjoy life in Christ. I have indeed learned a lot from him directly or indirectly. My sharing will be based on what the Holy Spirit drops in me during this season of grace. Aye, you are most welcome to engage me. Happy learning!



Am I selfish?
Is it selfish to want something so bad that you would give your life up?
Is it selfish to pursue a passion that is so ingrained in your heart, that even the mere thought of not achieving it makes you ache
Is it selfish to set standards for yourself that others consider crazy?
Is it selfish to life a life that gives you joy and fulfillment?
Is it selfish to want out of poverty?
Is it selfish to not care about somebody who hurt you in the past?
Is it selfish…

The constant fear leaves me paralyzed
In a despicable state yet powerless to overcome
Will this be my fate?
Never progressing? Never being at peace?
Despair flickers through my mind
I brush it off with a hope…
Yes I still have hope
Even though my feeble grasp on it is obliterated every once in a while and I am plundered into another sea of depression
I still find hope
I still wade through the mucky waters to touch the tip of the shores

No confidant has been worth pouring my heart to
Perhaps one is meant to win their own battles
Proverbs 14:10 says it well “Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy.”
But what if I realize am too weak?
Too weak to even put up a resistance and fringe myself into my promised future?
What if am too weak to even ask from help from those who are willing to offer it?
I will not deny the truth that am troubled
The non-existent exhaustion caused by my worry tags at my soul
The pain rips at my heart
Even though there is a twist
Yes, a twist. Am sorry I never told you
The cause of my pain is myself.

Strength means nothing without faith. Yes, faith. Faith that opens up your vision to see beyond the trouble. Faith to know that greater is coming. So I gather up the tiny seeds I own and sow them. I know that when that tree blooms, it will be strong enough to lean on and in time my own strength will be unfathomable.