MIRRORS

Am I selfish?
Is it selfish to want something so bad that you would give your life up?
Is it selfish to pursue a passion that is so ingrained in your heart, that even the mere thought of not achieving it makes you ache
Is it selfish to set standards for yourself that others consider crazy?
Is it selfish to life a life that gives you joy and fulfillment?
Is it selfish to want out of poverty?
Is it selfish to not care about somebody who hurt you in the past?
Is it selfish…

The constant fear leaves me paralyzed
In a despicable state yet powerless to overcome
Will this be my fate?
Never progressing? Never being at peace?
Despair flickers through my mind
I brush it off with a hope…
Yes I still have hope
Even though my feeble grasp on it is obliterated every once in a while and I am plundered into another sea of depression
I still find hope
I still wade through the mucky waters to touch the tip of the shores

No confidant has been worth pouring my heart to
Perhaps one is meant to win their own battles
Proverbs 14:10 says it well “Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy.”
But what if I realize am too weak?
Too weak to even put up a resistance and fringe myself into my promised future?
What if am too weak to even ask from help from those who are willing to offer it?
I will not deny the truth that am troubled
The non-existent exhaustion caused by my worry tags at my soul
The pain rips at my heart
Even though there is a twist
Yes, a twist. Am sorry I never told you
The cause of my pain is myself.

Strength means nothing without faith. Yes, faith. Faith that opens up your vision to see beyond the trouble. Faith to know that greater is coming. So I gather up the tiny seeds I own and sow them. I know that when that tree blooms, it will be strong enough to lean on and in time my own strength will be unfathomable.

STEP UP

A prosperous life is all about steps
Steps to change perceptions and positions
Take that step no matter how small
Aye steps turn into leaps

Life entails pursuits and conquests
Races against time and towards opportunity
Of flights fueled by passion and dreams
Running tanks refuelled within every meagre hour and dials that always scream danger
Yeah you gotta learn how to read the signs
Or you’ll get lost in the traffic
Discern who to help on your path because not all mean you well and your time is not meant to be wasted

Credits: Brian Kigen

Aim to be soar high above the expectations of the lowly and simple minded
Rush towards the unknown and take in the total bliss that comes with taking a risk
And because depression kicks in when the pursuit of a dream bears no fruit,
Look for joy in the little wins
Your goliath will eventually fall
When your arm sling becomes perfect

DARK CROSSROADS

Today I have dreamt dreams
Of colorful orange skies and shiny cars
My hopes are lifted even if it’s only for a moment
Yes the dream is there but its execution buffles me
I know I have to wake up because making the dream a reality is not part of the dream

Strength and weakness my two opposites seem to be going at each other with each passing day
Some days I feel like King Arthur with his legendary sword slaying all day long with extraordinary ease but other days am just superman ripped of strength and drowning in a pool of crystal green kryptonite
I am numb with pain
No relief comes my way
I laugh in the crowds but cry in my closet

Just a normal day or is it?
When you face the dark demons that haunted you yesterday all over again
And your strength fades away with each passing encounter
The blur of life causing me to question my worth when after all the wear and tear no fruits are reaped

Standing at the crossroad, I stare ahead as the names of each path seem to magically appear then disappear
Debating whether to go ‘right’ or follow the enticing path
Knowing full well the enticing path leads to an aftermath of guilt and regret
Fear grips my soul
Every second filled with worry that my mistake will break Savior’s your heart
When John 6:35 seems impossible – that the thirst of worldly things can be quenched
Powerless to the addictions weaned into full growth
When will I stare into the eyes ablaze with love?
When will my light grow to shine and cut through the darkness?
Faith is all I have, its my only shield, I gotta hold onto it

The corner of my eye catches a glare afar off
Hope is always here even when I chose to ignore
Peace floods my heart
The path to destiny is fully illuminated
Yes LIFE is calling
With a voice so sweet it makes my ears tingle
The crossroad puzzle has been made void
And the darkness overcome by light

CITY ON A HILL

Reaching out
Yes…reaching out,though I don’t know why I need to reach out to my home
Have I lost my place or did I forget my right? He calls me back!!
Heaven’s so real
The glory is overwhelming
The Joy is overflowing
The Peace is unexplainable
My God reigns
I enter His courts with trembling, in awe of His power
His love breaks me
I am unable to express all of Him
I am still in His embrace

Inspired by #CityOnAHill by @CastingCrowns